Great Stories of Humor - Tight Corners - E.V. Lucas (Abridged and Simplified)

Great Stories of Humor - Tight Corners 

E.V. Lucas 

(Abridged and Simplified)

Once a few friends were having a merry chat. The subject was the critical situation that each of them had faced in his life. One of them said he had a narrow escape from the swelling sea off North Brittany. Another referred to his elephant ride when a tiger attacked him. 

Yet another spoke of his escape from the top storey of a burning house. A fourth was torpedoed in the war. “But you all talk', said one of the company, 'as though tight corners were always physical affairs. Surely they can be tighter when they are mental. The tighter corner I was ever in was at `Christie's'

                         

'Yes. One day after lunch I was strolling along king street with an old friend from abroad. I was invited by my friend to set into a sale room of the famous auctioneers, the christie's. 

I accepted the offer readily. An auction sale of some pictures was going on. The sale concerned the paintings of the French school of painters, the Barbizon school'. Some pictures were being sold for four - figure sums. It was a great fun to look at. After sometime I began bidding too - just for fun. 

I had exactly sixty-three pounds in the bank and securities worth not even five hundred. I started, therefore, by making some very modest bids "You'll get caught", my friend said to me "No, I shan't", I said. "I'm not going to run any risks'.

                           

"And for a long time I didn't. The bid started at fifty guineas. It slowly rose to a four-figure sum. Then there was suddenly a sensational bid. A well-known dealer said, "Four thousand guineas". "There was a rustle of excitement, and at the end of it I heard my own voice saying, "And fifty!".

                            

"A fearful silence followed. Further bid stopped. I was stunned and dazed".

                            

"Four thousand and fifty guineas offered", said the auctioneer, searching the room.

                             

"My heart stopped; my blood congealed. There was no sound but a curious smothered noise from my friend".

"Four thousand and fifty guineas. Any advance on four thousand and fifty guineas?" - and the hammer fell. 

"My position was pitiable. I was the top bidder of a picture I did not want. Further I could not pay the price. I looked at my friend for support. But he was in a distant corner trying hard to control his laughter. With an air of indifference I managed to give my card to the clerk. 

I did not see or hear anything during the rest of the auction. I thought in vain of the uncles or money lenders who could help me with a loan. I then thought that it would be better to tell the truth and have it put up again. 

But none was likely to believe me. Further I had taken part in many other bids, and it would be upsetting them all. I stood there, the last among the buyers to make the payment. On looking at my face my friend withdrew again to stifle his laughter. Instant death would have been welcome to me at that time".

                                 

‘And then the unexpected happened voice at my ear suddenly said, "Beg pardon, sir, but are you the gent that bought the big Daubigny?" admitted it.

                                

"Well, the agent who offered four thousand guineas wants to know if you'll take fifty guineas for your bid".

                                

"How strange an offer, and how welcome it was to me! He was indeed a divine messenger sent by gods to save me. Only, this messenger was dressed in a green coarse woolen apron, and he spoke a hoarse cockney dialect - still, I thought, he was sure to be an angel in disguise. I was prepared to part with the picture even for a fifty farthings. I took the opportunity and said I would be content with a hundred. And I got it too!"

                                 

"When I found my friend, I was laughing too but he became grave at once on seeing the cheque"

                                  

Well I'm hanged!" he said. Of all the luck! Well, I'm hanged". Then he said, "Don't forget that if it hadn't been for me you wouldn't have come into christie's at all".

                                   

"I shall never forget it", I said. "Nor the shameful way you laughed at my plight. Both are deeply imprinted in my mind and are a source of continuous vexation to me. My hair hasn't gone white, has it?"

Tags : #great stories for children ruskin bond, #great stories for children, #101 all time great stories, #great stories in easy english, #great stories by nobel prize winners, #all time great stories deep trivedi, #adrishya stories of great indian spies, #great stories by ruskin bond, #collection of 50 great short stories, #all time great stories deep trivedi, #great detective stories, # all time great stories, #great horror stories, #great stories, #josiah the great the true story of the man who would be king, #the great kapok tree story book, #stories great leaders tell, #life stories of great people, #stories of great leaders, #great the major story, #making great stories happen, #the great indian obsession the untold story of india's engineers, #ruskin bond great stories for 16year old, #portfolio of great indian business stories, #great big story t shirt, #the shadow of the great game the untold story of india's partition, #great short stories of the world, #democracy's xi the great indian cricket story, #great inspiring stories, #great moral stories, # great short stories