Great Stories of Humor - The Worship Of The Wealthy - G.K. Chesterton (Abridged and Simplified)

Great Stories of Humor - The Worship Of The Wealthy - G.K. Chesterton 

(Abridged and Simplified)

I notice a new way of flattering the wealthy and the great in literature and journalism. In the past flattery was more straightforward and falsehood was more true. The poor man, wishing to flatter the rich man, simply said that he was the tallest, bravest and wisest man. 

The rich man knew that it was false. So the flattery did less harm. There was no moderation at all in praising the king. He was described as resembling the sun at noon, that his people could not breathe without him and that with his single word he conquered Europe, Asia, Africa and America. 

The safety of this method was its artificiality; between the king and his public image there was really no relation. But the modern art of flattery is more subtle and therefore mor dangerous. The new method is to take the prince or each man, to give a credible picture of his type of personality. 

A person is described, for example, as business like, fond of art, or reserved. Or his clothes, hobbies, love of cats, etc. are described. With the assistance of realism the man is somehow made out to be a sort of prophet or saviour of mankind. 

When Carnegie or Pierpont Morgan is sought to be praised, he is not described as being wise as Solomon, brave like Mars, or beautiful like Apollo. That would have been the old method of flattery. The new method is greatly to exaggerate the value of some of their qualities. 

The old flatterer took for granted that the king was an ordinary man, and made an attempt to represent him as extraordinary. The newer and cleverer flatterer takes for granted that he is extraordinary, and so even ordinary things about him would be of great interest.

The modern flatterer follows one interesting device. He combines truth with an atmosphere of mystery by the simple operation of almost entirely in negatives. Suppose the journalist wants to praise Mr. Pierpont Morgan, the American millionaire. There is not much to say about what he does think or like or admire. 

So the journalist says that he is not attracted to the modern schools of philosophy. The same can be said about almost anyone. Supposing one wants to praise a charwoman and not much is known about her. A great importance is then built around her by describing what she does not think, or like. She cannot be, it is remarked. considered to be a follower of the rebellious Roman catholic priest and leader Loisy. 

It is also wrong to consider her as belonging to the old Hebrew faith. In this way she is described by a series of negatives. This is indeed a splendid method. It enables the flatteres to get over his difficulty of not knowing much about the subject. 

The flattered person also is pleased to find himself associated with many strange ideas. The method can apply to both the great and the small. I wish it were applied sometimes to charwoman rather than only to millionaires.

                                          

There is another way of flattering important people which has become very common, I notice, among writers in the newspapers and elsewhere. It consists in the use of words like 'simple', 'quiet' and `modest Often they are applied to persons without any sort of appropriateness or justification. 

To be simple is the best thing in the world; to be modest is the next best thing. I am not so sure about being quiet. I am rather inclined to think that the really modest people make a great deal of noise in the world. 

It is quite self evident that really simple people make a great deal of noise. But simplicity and modesty, atleast, are very rare and royal human virtues, not to be lightly talked about. It is wrong to give such praises to the wealthy. People rarely reach the height of great qualities like modesty and simplicity. 

They are virtues which prophets and righteous men have long desired to see among men, but with no success. It is not right therefore to throw about such epithets in an indiscriminate manner.

                                         

A modern journalist describes a rich person like Mr. Midas as walking in the street quietly dressed in a black frock-coat and light grey trousers, with a simple flower in his buttonhole. 

How can one expect him to be dressed other than quietly? Does one expect him to wear a crimson coat or spangled trousers? Only a simple flower is generally worn in the button - hole. Why then specially mention it? Instead of a flower would a person have burning Catherine Wheel in his button-hole?

                                       

Even the funeral of a rich person like Beit or Whiteley is often described as being quiet and simple. What can it be? Actually, however, the funeral of such a person is never simple, but grand and sumptuous. 

Why then call it simple or quiet? Did they expect some human sacrifice or some ecstatic dance of lamentation by oriental girls? 

Did they expect all the pomp and ceremony of the funeral rites of a Patroclus? Otherwise how could the words 'simple' and

quiet' be applied to the splendid funeral of these rich persons?

                                      

The use of words like 'quiet' and 'modest' has become a piece of automatic hypocrisy. This resembles the use by the Japanese of the word 'honourable' in a polite sentence, as put honourable umbrella in honourable umbrella - stand'. If this tendency persists, we shall have descriptions like the following. 

A modest king they would say, went out in his modest crown, and modest gold, attended by modest earls with swords moderately drawn. The king might be dressed in gold and be attended in gold and be attended by thousands of earls. 

Still it is all modest! Their very swords are modestly drawn! No doubt we are compelled to pay homage to the rich and the great; but we may do so by praising the rich openly for their wealth and splendor. Let us not be hypocritical and call the rich men simple and modest. When next I meet a rich man I intend to walk up to him in the street and address with oriental hyperbole. He will probably run away.

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